When planning out my life as a young 20-year old, I never thought I’d have broken off an engagement, married the hottest guy ever, moved to a different state, and gone through 8 years of infertility – only ever knowing loss after loss after loss.
Even still, I have been able to get back up, put a smile on my face, and keep trying. The desire to be a mom has never gone away. In fact, I believe it’s only gotten stronger!
Our story?
Try naturally ✔️
IVF ✔️
Surrogacy ✔️
Embryo Adoption with IVF ✔️
A lot of heartbreak and no baby but we’ve never wavered from our desire to be parents. And that very strong desire is now leading us to adoption!
WE ARE ADOPTING!
I have been asked the same question hundreds of times over our journey – why don’t you just adopt? Let me tell you why we didn’t just adopt until now. Adoption can take years, cost tens of thousands of dollars, and become a very emotionally difficult journey. It’s not wrong to want to have biological children if you can. A lot of thought and prayers go into making a decision this big. Adoption requires a LOT from parents. You see – if you get pregnant and have a baby, you take the baby home from the hospital after 48-72 hours and that’s it. You’re parents! With adoption, you’re meticulously evaluated on:
- Your home
- Psychological testing
- Financial stability
- Your fitness as a parent
- Your family and community
- Your marriage, religion, and values
- Discipline styles (how were you disciplined as a child, do you believe in spanking, etc)
And all of those are evaluated before you even start to see cases.
You also need to put together a profile book. This is a 14-18 page magazine-style book and is the only thing an expectant mom will see in order to choose us. With pictures, details about our home and community, what vacations and holidays look like in our house, etc. It’s so exciting but also stressful, right? What is too much information? What is not enough information?
Then, it’s choosing the right agency and/or consultant. Do you choose who makes your heart feel right or do you choose who gives you a quicker timeline outcome? Do you choose the cheaper one or pay $3k more for a potential shorter timeline?
There are attorneys involved. Financial planners. Social workers. So much legal paperwork. And a lot of hurry up and wait.
Who knows the right answers but I will tell you this: we will always be very honest, raw, and vulnerable in our adoption journey as we have been our entire journey to parenthood. Our birth mom is out there. We are praying for her and this very hard decision she will face.
In turn, we ask you to pray for her, as well. Whether it’s us she picks, someone else she picks, or she chooses to parent, we pray over her and this incredibly selfless decision to consider.
Pray for us, as well. This could be a long, draining journey but we continue to hold on to the hope of The Date Is Set. He knows when and we trust Him with everything we have.
southernbrunetteish 