Grieving and Celebrating Mother’s Day ….. it’s okay!

Mothers Day. To a lot of women, this is just a day to celebrate their mom. To celebrate being a mom. Receiving handwritten notes and perfectly imperfect colored pictures or crafts from daycare. Going to lunch and getting extra squeezes from your kids. Hearing an extra “I love you mom” when you don’t even have to ask for it. Grabbing a sentimental card with flowers to take to your mom.

To others, it’s a day to grieve. Whether you’ve lost your mom or you’ve lost your child, Mother’s Day can be especially hard. I know this because I should’ve had my baby here to squeeze. This should be a day full of joy and laughter but instead, it’s a reminder that my baby isn’t here with me. And (although I love living in texas) I wish I lived closer to my mom to celebrate her today.

You see, for several hours tomorrow, I will be able to compartmentalize Mother’s Day. I can shove my feelings in a small box to allow my brain to relax, not focus on my own stuff, and celebrate my mom. Even if from afar. But after those few hours are up, my feelings are going to pop out of that little box like a Jack in the box toy that’s been winding up for hours.

But that’s okay. I’m going to feel those feelings and you should too. I’m choosing to celebrate myself today. I am a mama. I’m a good mama. And I can’t wait to give all the love I have to our children one day.

Please know I’m thinking of all those that don’t have their mom earth-side with them today. I’m praying for those that have lost their children and those that long for a baby and it just hasn’t happened yet. I’m praying for those that just have hard days as a mom and may feel guilty for even feeling that way.

Happy Mother’s Day to the women who are struggling with infertility. To the women who have lost a baby. To those who have a hard relationship with your mom. To you who lost your momma. To first time moms. To adoptive or foster moms. And especially to my momma.